worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
