you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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