At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
