Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
