Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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