And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
