listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
