David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
