He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
