i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
