I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
either way he was missing a nipple.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
