i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
