It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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