So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
