Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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