who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
