let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
