just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The air was thick with penises
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
