Only a mothe r could love this liver
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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