I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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