Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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