My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
