Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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