Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
