i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
