i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
