jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
