i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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