You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
