I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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