He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
