then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
