So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
