Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
