Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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