I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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