Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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