Your tits are I can't wait for
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
