My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
ok first of all what the fuck
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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