rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I had to cum in my sink.
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