My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just gift wrapped bread.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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