did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
