He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
