ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
