THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
