you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
