i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
