Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
