I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
