i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
